Why am i always throwing my emotions and my heart out there and never getting the same in response? It's like this neverending circle where i am always left to be fighting for what i want but feeling like lesser than. My illusions of perfection are shattered and all i am left with is this sinking feeling in my stomach and this not so nice taste in my mouth. Fuck me.

loving you...

It's as though there is always a wall placed up in front of what i am looking for, what i am needing, what i apparently don't deserve. Maybe B is right. Maybe i'm just not cut out of the right cloth. To be pushed aside, to be an afterthought...to be..on my own. I'm not doing me.
And i'm tired. Just tired. And all i was looking for was to be uplifted. what a fail.