Below are the results to a quiz that i took at colorgenics.com. If it is entirely true or not i cannot tell.
It would appear that at this particular time of your life you are going through a tough time. You are feeling (or have recently felt) miserable and depressed and perhaps you are still feeling that way. Maybe all the trials and tribulations just aren't worth it. Your present anxieties could have been associated with either your 'private' or 'business' life - whatever ... what you really need at this time is to get away from it all, maybe a vacation - alone, or better still, perhaps with someone that you know really cares for you, someone who appreciates you - not for what you have but for who you are. A short vacation may be all you need to afford you the time to recover and to get back to your normal vital self.
Being impulsive and irritable, your desires and needs are paramount. You do things with insufficient thought - with little regard to the consequences that may follow. As a consequence of this attitude, you may be experiencing stress and conflict.
You feel very lonely and frustrated at this time but your shyness and modesty precludes you from establishing any deep form of relationship. You feel rather isolated and alone. You are egocentric and you believe that you are always right - well maybe you are - but you have a short fuse and are likely to take offense for the slightest reason.
Unacceptable restrictions have been forced upon you and this is resulting in severe frustration and stress. You are looking for independence and consequently you shy away from any restriction and avoid obligations of anything which might prove hampering. You are being subjected to considerable pressure and want to escape from it so that you can obtain what you need, but unfortunately at this particular moment in time you lack the necessary strength of purpose to succeed in this.
The tensions induced by trying to cope with conditions are really beyond your capabilities. This has resulted in experiencing considerable anxiety and stress. You are looking for confirmation from your nearest and dearest that you have the ability and strength to fulfill all of your needs and to be completely self-sufficient. When matters don't go right for you - you tend to become inhibited and blame others for your inadequacy. You feel that there must be a way out from all the trials and tribulations that you have been experiencing of late and you are right - there is a solution - so don't give in, keep searching.
You feel that you need to move on. You feel that you are not appreciated or valued for what you are and that the time is 'now'. Failure to do so will not afford you the conditions to prove your worth.
...Maybe it is all true.
Its not as if i have no one who loves me its just that sometimes i need to learn to love myself. The only time it is warm inside my heart is when others say so...how do i make myself happy without making others miserable?
Cold
Falling deeper in to this desolate abyss,
Screaming out your name over and over,
Fearing fear, hating hate, loving you,
There's nothing left that i can do.
Death is what you fear for me,
Take my hands, hold me close.
Lick my wounds, kiss my lips,
I'll heal you with my gentle breath.
It's the cold,
That wraps it's silky arms around me.
Falling on me and all around me.
I cry my silent tears.
Death is sweet when he comes like a lover.
He fills my mind and my body,
Just like you used to do.
Save me sweet lover, cover me in you.
They look at me and laugh.
They make me feel so dirty.
Take away my sins, make me innocent again.
I'll let you mold me with your hands.
If only this cold would leave....
These are some famous celebs on their own self injury....
"For me it began with puberty, around 12 or 13, when I suddenly became aware of my body, what I had, and more important, what I didn't have. I was red-haired and freckled, and hung out in Edinburgh with two very beautiful, artistic, athletic and intellectual girls that seemed like they had everything going for them,"
"I wouldn't say that cutting was pleasurable, but there is a sense of euphoria that follows cutting yourself. The quick pinch of pain and the sight of blood snaps you back to the surface and you start to appreciate being alive."
Shirley Manson
-"I haven't touched a knife in a really long time, I don't need one, I don't want one. Mind you, I will be doing Tomb Raider, and I will probably be throwing them. But I was 14. I was like a real punk kid, and I was going out of my mind. And then sex was boring and I was working and..."
-"You're young, you're drunk, you're in bed, you have knives, shit happens."
Angelina Jolie
To Your Love
Fiona Apple
Here’s another speech you wish I’d swallow Another cue for you to fold your ears Another train of thought too hard to follow Chugging along to the song that belongs to the shifting of gears Please forgive me for my distance The pain is evident in my existence Please forgive for my distance The shame is manifest in my resistance To your love, to your love, to your love I would’ve warned you, but really, what’s the point? Caution could but rarely ever helps Don’t be down when my demeanor tends to disappoint It’s hard enough even trying to be civil to myself Please forgive me for my distance The pain is evident in my existence Please forgive for my distance The shame is manifest in my resistance To your love, to your love, to your love My derring-do allows me to dance the rigadoon Around you But by the time I’m close to you, I lose My desideratum and now you, so Now you have it, so baby tell me what’s the word? Am I your gal, or should I get out of town? I just need to be reassured Do you just deal it out, or can you deal with What I lay down? Please forgive me, for my distance The pain is evident in my existence Please forgive me for my distance The shame is manifest in my resistance To your love, to your love, to your love
I might be giving up my job at blockbuster for a job at Ebony&Ivory. Blockbuster is not giving me as many hours as they said they would and i dont think they are very well organized. I like the staff but honestly i just dont like the job that much. So i'm calling Ebony&Ivory tomorrow to see if i can work there again. Lets hope it works out.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.