Well i feel like shit right now. I went on to msn chat and said hi to A. and S. and as soon as i did they started bitching at me.They were telling me how i shouldnt be sleeping around and all this other stuff...heres part of the convo, FallenGirlScout is me...
ChICk_FrOm_ : i don't think ur a slut.....u just have to have some respect for urself
FallenGirlScout : who is this? s or a?
ChICk_FrOm_: it doesn't matter.... we both care about u
FallenGirlScout : i have respect for myself, how can you say that i don't?
ChICk_FrOm_: u sleep around
FallenGirlScout : yeah, how many people have i slept with in the past month, 1 how is that sleeping around?
ChICk_FrOm_ : i don't mean past month
FallenGirlScout : you havent even known me for that long, you can't say i sleep around, i have my fun yeah, that shouldnt be a big deal and how can you say you're worried, theres nothing to be worried about
ChICk_FrOm_ : we're worried that ur gonna get pregant, u don't have a job, no money. u shouldn't even bring a baby in to this world when ever u feel like it... and if u don't get pregant by whoever the fuk, don't say we didn;t worn u.....
ChICk_FrOm_ : alexandria ur soo smart and ur doin drugs
FallenGirlScout : what made you guys think of this now?
FallenGirlScout : This is how i've been since you met me but you've never said anything until now
ChICk_FrOm_: we read ur dairy
FallenGirlScout : yeah but most of that shit you knew anyway
ChICk_FrOm_ : we've been talkin about it behind ur back... cause we;re worried about u... u don't understand how smart u r
ChICk_FrOm_ : and ur throwin it awya
FallenGirlScout : so you guys talk about me behind my back now
FallenGirlScout : i'm not smart
FallenGirlScout : i can't do better
FallenGirlScout : i know that
FallenGirlScout : i'm doing what i do best
ChICk_FrOm_ : u can do so much more
FallenGirlScout : bullshit, i can't do fuck all...i have people that will support me when i get pregnant its not as bad as you view it to be
There was more but i don't feel like putting it. The one thing i thought i had was that my friends would never try to hurt me. That fucking flew out the window when this shit went down. I mean god they were telling me that i wouldnt make a good mother. I know i would and it hurts for my friends to be telling me this. I know how much hurt i've been through and when i have a baby i will make sure it will not be put through the shit i've been through. I know what they were trying to do, i know they care but all they succeeded in doing was making me cry. The thing is i know that what they are saying is right. Its fucking right and i dont want to face it. So i'll continue to ruin my life and ruin my chances of getting anywhere or finding someone who'll love me cause who needs the book when they've seen the movie. And all i really want is someone to love me because i cant love myself.
Gutless
All my friends are embryonic
All my friends are dead and gone
All my friends are microscopic
All my friends wake up alone
Girl germs eat your little virus
Revolution come and die
Elitists who eat the virus
Sleep with me, wake up alive
Gutless !
You're gutless
You're gutless
You're gutless
You're gutless
You're gutless
You're undressed
You're gutless
You're gutless
You're gutless
You're undressed
You can try to suck me dry
But there's nothing left to suck
Just you try to hold me down
Come on, try to shut me up
Step and fetch, grease my hips
I don't even have to pause
I don't really miss God
But I sure miss Santa Claus
Gutless
You're gutless
You're gutless
You're gutless
You're undressed
You're gutless
You're undressed
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