I never hated one true god but the god of the people i hated

I owe S. $85 and i have half of it so far. I get my check on Friday and then i can pay him back. Then everyone will shutup about how i shouldnt have to pay my boyfriend back for things he gets me. I have never had to pay for anything, he's always the one supporting me and now that i have a job i think it is best to pay him back the money he is asking. Its not that much money anyway even though i do not make huge amounts of money.

I'm only going to be able to see S. one day out of the week for the next couple of months. I've got my job and hes got his two jobs and friends that want to see him, i dont want to take up all his free time because its not fair to everyone else that wants to hang with him. I dont like the fact that we are going to see each other so rarely but i suppose i can deal with it, plus this guy named Tony that i work with...well he said i could crash at his place anytime so its not like i'm going to be bored or anything. I'm not sure if S. is comfortable with the idea of me crashing at Tony's place but i asked him and he said to do what i want. I think that hes hiding something but every time i ask he says hes fine. Hes about as uncommunicative as i am. The other thing is that since S. and I have been together for so long, i feel comfortable and stable. It has taken me this long to realize that i shouldnt be worried about what he is doing all the time, to just enjoy our relationship and enjoy our time apart.I still get jealous all the time though.

1:36 p.m. - 2003-05-21