My mom wrote me a beautiful email, i never thought we'd make it to the point where we could just be close without gritting our teeth. I think my mom was right when she said we had to go through what we did to become what we are today.I feel like i can tell her everything and i am so proud to be her daughter. I finally see what an amazing woman she is and i hold her in the highest respects. I'm lucky to have a mother just like her.
I feel so different than i did a year ago, i've matured in my own ways and i am starting to like who i have become. I still have my tendencies to be melodramatic and depressive sometimes but thats just a part of me that isnt going to change and i have accepted it. I know what i am and i know what i want to do with my life and i realize that the only person that can hold me back is me. Theres still things i wish i could change.Like the way that i am with S. I just cant seem to communicate my anger and hurt at some of the things he does to me and he knows it...and hates it. I've never been the kind of person to keep my mouth shut about what is bothering me but i just cant seem to do it with him. I think in a way that i feel if i do...he'll leave. I should have more faith in him, i know. But i'm still scared.
11:32 a.m. - 2003-11-12
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