Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.

rant and rave...rant and rave...hmm. I wish. I wish i could still do it the way i used to but it seems that nothing will get me back to that point. I sit and frown because once words used to run through me like a beautiful waterfall on a summers day and now, well now its...bland.

I am now going to maybe just maybe surprise somebody with the announcement that i am newly pregnant. A little grin to myself. I'm happy but at the same time...I worry that i am just crazy. That somehow i have convinced myself that i am pregnant so thats how it showed up on the pregnancy test. I worry that maybe my body is just reacting to my brain and that is the reason for the nausea and the swelling of the breasts and the weight gain. Then i think maybe i am just crazy for thinking that way. I think i should just wait until the ultra-sound on the 24th and then i will be convinced one way or the other.

We moved. Into my moms house. Cheap rent. Ah, life is beautiful. (If i pretend)New job for me, job interview for S tommorow. Bills upon bills. I do not enjoy the stress of it all.I miss friends.

6:45 p.m. - 2005-10-12