She is Suicide

I dont know how or why it came and took over so suddenly but it did and theres no turning back. The closed wounds i had have suddenly opened up and are letting themselves out.Swiftly and silently they are already to start wreak havoc through my little puddle of happiness. Tyler who i broke up with 2 days ago decided to talk to me today, he first of all called me a whore and i straightened him out on that subject and then he told me that he had slit his wrists because i was the only good thing in his life and i had left him...he said that he didnt want to live without me, i didnt know what to do so when he asked me out again i said yes.I cant be taking the blame for someone killing themselves. I've been talking to all of my suicidal friends lately and the only way i can get them to stay alive is to promise them i will never leave. Its a hard job but just like them i need to feel loved.M. told me he loved me still...i have a hard time believing it just because of the simple fact that i never showed him every side of me and the fact that he didnt see every side is a key element to his being able to love me.Plus hes got a girlfriend and hes staying with her, i guess i'm just plain upset...and somehow i'm lonely.

- 2002-02-27