This is your world in which we grow. And we will grow to hate you.

I was late for school again today. This is my third time in three days and we just started school again. My mom decided to turn off my alarm clock while i was sleeping so she wouldn't wake up!I met Panther today, she's the leader of the female part of a gang that my friend was in, she seems really nice. She doesn't go to the school but i guess her and her girlfriend had some business to attend to so that's why they were there. It's interesting how someone can be in a gang and be attacked by other gangs and not want out. I don't think I'd survive in that kind of environment...and the thing is she doesn't even have to be there. I haven't talked to A. in 3 days and i'm starting to get worried about him...he seemed really depressed when i last talked to him and he was saying things like " I want to go to sleep and never wake up" and just other bullshit like that...i think i'll call him tonight just to make sure he's fine. Andy is back from Paris, he hooked up with his ex-girlfriend and that's why he didn't bother to call me or come see me like he said he would. Then when i talked to him he said he loved me and he missed me but i don't know what to believe. He's tearing me up inside and it feels like there's razorblades ripping into my heart and tearing slowly at the outer layer. If only i could explain that to him....On the upside Jonathan and me are still really close, we talk to each other every day...and he makes me feel as if there's at least one person that loves me, one person that cares if i live or die.

~There is no excellent beauty that hath not some strangeness in the proportion.

7:43pm - 2001-09-06