Why can't i try to tell you?

I miss my family...life just doesnt seem as full with them not being around. I want to try and be an influential figure in my brothers and sisters lives and i dont think being a long distance voice is enough. In my heart i feel like i deserted them. I didnt really, moving here was just as hard for me as it was for them but i guess you have to give everything a try at least once.

I wonder if i like keeping secrets? I wonder if i like destroying perfectly beautiful things without any regard to who it might hurt. I wonder if i'm a horrible person or just a good person who has a hard time changing a lifetime of living the way i have been. I wonder....

11:36 p.m. - 2003-11-14