Do you have to let it linger?

I thought i was done my entries for today but i realized...I'M NOT. *sighs* I'm going to get over M. that is my one and only goal right now. I had to pick the hardest first..didnt i. Its just like me to pick something i probably wont achieve. He has a girlfriend, i need to face it...i wont be going out with him again...i have to face that. It didnt work the first time, Do i know why? No. I have to face that.Now you all might think that this would be easy but I AM SO SERIOUS, it hurts.Every time i talk to him and he mentions his girlfriend i feel like crying...if that makes me a baby then so be it. Its not even funny that i'm so lovesick since i am known as a player...someone once told me, "players cant fall in love" they were dead wrong.

I guess we love just to have it all fall apart in the end. Leaving behind a broken shattered soulless body, and when you were already that way and it happens to you, you become me. My first love was 29 years old, i was so in love and he told me he loved me too..but then he cheated on me with three girls because he thought i was cheating on him, that hurt me more than i thought i could have ever been hurt...until now.

He's always what i wanted...

Blinded By The Sun

I'm reaching out

but no ones calling back

and the phone rings

but its all in my head

My sores arent healing

I think they're getting worse

band-aids arent working

the cuts just bleed right through

Chorus-I've taken to the razor

Soon i'll take to the gun

My ears are ringing

And my eyes are blinded by the

sun

I can feel myself

I can't feel a thing

Surrounded by nothing

All i do is sing

i scared them away

They were scared of me

My purpose was to please them

They just didnt see

Chorus(repeat2x)

I'm in the need of some serious, heavy duty drug action...too bad i cant get any.

11:17 p.m. - 2002-03-15