If i say goodbye to love will it go away?

Well my self confidence is sky freaking high at the moment. I may sound a little vain in this entry so if you dont like it then fuck off!!! I have a right to be vain once in a while. So today i was wearing what some people would call booty shorts, i wore them to appease my mother because she hates it when i dont wear preppy clothes and she had bought the damn things for me since she said, " You look so good in them!!!"

So yes i was wearing that and a belly shirt and i went rollerblading...oh by the way i forgot to mention i am down on the northside because i am spending the night at my moms...so yes...i went rollerblading and all these guys kept honking and yelling out the windows and coming to talk to me...I am not exaggerating at all it was quite amusing actually. Then there was this one incident that embarrassed me quite badly. I was at the store watching my brothers bike and waiting for him to get out of the store and there was a car parked just a bit ahead of me.So here i am waiting for my brother and just wandering off into my own world thinking about pretzels and cheese, yes those things,lol. Then one guy comes out of the store and checks me out and then he get into the car and sits there, then another guy comes out and checks me out and gets into the car with the other guy. Then a third guy comes out and he checks me out!! So they sit in their car for a while just sitting and turning around to look at me at certain times and then they back up real slowly and they look me up and down and the guy closest to me winks and then they drive off...I was so embarrassed and i was blushing like crazy.*sighs*

Anyways i swear this is the last time i sleepover at my moms shes such a damn snoop standing behind me and trying to look at my damn diary!! Fuck shes annoying sometimes.

So yes I talked to R. today and she wants me to go with her during the summer. Shes moving to Fort Mcmurray or however you spell it for the whole summer because she thinks edmonton is bunk and she wants to take the only good part of it which she decided was me. She says that her boyfriends are there and i would really rather not go because i have everyone here and even though i love R. a lot and we've been together 8 months, i just cant go there. I cant drop everything and leave, not when my life is just getting good. She also told me that she started using again...i didnt let her know how upset i was. Maybe i should have but i didnt want her to feel worse. Truthfully though i think its going to be a long and hard recovery for her and i'll stick by her no matter what but i feel sympathy for her which i never should have to feel about my best friend because of that reason.

~We've taken medication so we can run away from another day

we've taken medication so we can run away from the things that pain us.

I blink and another day is gone~

....

I still think of you...

2:56 a.m. - 2002-06-15