I'm still dreaming of you

CRY OR CUM

Everything ends so quietly

so cold and shadowless

We put on fake faces

No one sees our shame

This is real, real pain

I'm here to abuse

I'm here to confuse

I'm here to amuse you so

look in my face - hide behind your wall

It's been a good day after all

I learn to hate myself everyday

told to cry or cum

I'll lick your heals till my mouth bleeds

Maybe you'll kick me some

Left them both in strangers hands

Not a clue of what's humane

Came running back out

to tell me a secret

Closed my eyes and

turned the other way

My girlfriend, my best friend...is yet again on the streets. I dont know where she is so i cant take her with me...but i made a plan with a mutual friend of ours so if she contacts him i can find her.I'm hoping shes okay.I just wish i could find her before i leave. The last time i talked to her i told her she couldnt come with me. I didnt want her to just come so she could stay loyal to me, i wanted her to come because she wanted to leave.Now its all fucked up.

I'm leaving tommorow...early morning. I'm getting in a car and i'm leaving.Its all started the ball is rolling. I am ready. But to tell you the truth i'm scared...i dont know how its going to work out. I dont know if i will be okay. All i know is that i need to leave. So...i'll update this when i can but otherwise...goodbye everyone and i love you all.

Oh and to the girl who left a note in my guestbook about feeling sorry for me. Well all i have to say is that you are obviously not able to give me your name so you dont have any say in my life whatsoever and you have no reason to feel sorry for me. By the way i'm not your girl, okay? Next time you feel the need to comment on someone elses life maybe you should let them know who you are...that might help.

11:20 p.m. - 2002-07-09