It's a sickening kind of love

M. is fine now. Well i shouldnt say hes fine because i dont think anyone can ever go from being suicidal to fine in the span of a day or two. Lets just say hes not suicidal anymore. I love the night time, i dont know if its the darkness or the stillness in the air but i think better and i think about more things. Right now i'm thinking about M and i. Where we have been and where we are going. I dont know if we were really meant to be, maybe the one time we went out was the only chance we had to make it work...and since we failed that...we arent going to have another chance. At this moment all i want is someone to be there for me when i need them, to hold me when i cry...to help me up when i'm done. I just want a friend who will always be there. I want you.

I checked my email as i usually do, and in there was the song below...i have no idea who sent it because it didnt say, which obviously means whoever sent it, knows places to do that. I just wish i knew who it was.

World Weary Eyes

You should have seen her

all her days are all filled with tears

You should have seen her,

touch her greatest fear

You should have seen her stumble and

fall you should have seen

You should have seen her out on

the wire once again

You should have seen her missing out

on every chance.

Oh the wall and the wicked

and the storm in her mind

And the fire, oh baby,

she's dying sometimes

She's gonna leave it

to the others to sort it all out

And the fire, oh baby,

I want you to be now

I want you to be now

You will see when things change

she'll soon fleed the town

You will see there's someone

holding her down

You'll see her she's the object of

a sickened kind of love

You will see her nights end

in pieces, once again

You will see her missing out

on every chance.

Oh the wall and the wicked

and the storm in her mind

And the fire, oh baby,

she's dying sometimes

She's gonna leave it

to the others to sort it all out

And the fire, oh baby,

I want you to be now

I want you to be now

whoever you want

See now whatever you want

the world is turning day by day

like you away from me

And oh, your world weary eyes

And oh, your world weary eyes

And oh, should I fall into your trap again

or should we just stay friends?

1:25 a.m. - 2002-04-16