For love I will always beg

So now i'm wanting to die. My reasons...none other than i cant take any of the bullshit thats going on. I made a suicide pact with a friend, i probably will go through with it, especially the way i'm feeling now. I'd rather be numb than be what i am. I'd rather be dead than do what i do to him. Theres some gang trouble...and i know its going to be bad. Its going down and me and two other girls are right in the middle. I was worried about M., i love him so much i dont want him to get hurt so i told him that for his own protection we should not talk. I told him to move on, that he could do it. I suppose i wish i hadnt...the one time i feel like being selfless...i hurt myself at the same time and the other person. I cant ever do anything right. So whatever we had it is over now. He told me to talk to him when i wanted to be with him. I wont talk to him. Not because i dont want to be with him but because i dont want him to be with me. I never was good with "happy" people. My head is banging and it wont stop, i feel like i'm dying and i wish i would. My friend told me that the KKK are taking all the gang members that i know out of the school no matter if they are black or white and beating the fuck out of them. I'm not in school but it could still happen to me. Am i worried? No...if this is all my life is going to amount to, cut me out now.

BITTERSWEET

You are my sword

Your love is its own reward

My heart, I have found

Gets carved up by the pound

God knows I tried

To hold you with all my might

But time has won

And I could never be that strong

(Don't cry) I couldn't be that strong

(Don't cry) That used to be my favorite song

(Don't cry) Tears so bittersweet

(Don't cry) Fill my eyes whenever we meet

It's always bittersweet

I cut and I bleed

You seem to find that so hard to believe

That's just too, too bad

You could never touch the love that we had

(Don't cry) For the love we had

(Don't cry) Sometimes we try to take it back

(Don't cry) Tears so bittersweet

(Don't cry) Fill my eyes whenever we meet

It's always bittersweet

(Don't cry) For a love gone wrong

(Don't cry) That used to be my favorite song

(Don't cry) Tears so bittersweet

We've grown and times change

When we meet now it feels so strange

I hold you like a sword

You won't cut me like you did before

It's always bittersweet

It's always bittersweet

It's always bittersweet

Bittersweet, bittersweet

It's always....

It's always bittersweet

It's always bittersweet

7:16 p.m. - 2002-04-18