The wind is ruthless, the trees shake angry fingers at the sky.

I'm at the end of my little rope. I need to start making decisions about where i want to be. How i want to live my life. I'm barely ever happy, all i ever really want to do is sit in my room and cry my eyes out, but i dont and when the tears eventually do make it out, i dont know how to make them stop.I miss the way my life used to be, i miss the way we used to be and now all i have is memories to cling onto because nothing else seems to matter. I'm angry...i'm angry at myself for not thinking things through. I'm angry about coming here and yes sometimes i'm angry at you for taking me with you. This isnt my life, i dont need this. I dont want this. Sometimes i go into the bathroom and hold the razorblade over my wrists...wishing...for something to happen.Wishing either for the strength to just push down or the courage to stop feeling this way. I'm alone in my mind all the time and no one wants to take the time to understand why or listen to my reasoning, no one, except for myself. Myself is all i seem to have nowadays. The pain never goes away it just fades until it decides its time to break your heart and mind even more. My lips are sewn so i cant speak, my eyes are closed so i cant see, my heart is cold so i cant feel, my mind is broken so i cant deal. I'll try to live for another tommorow. 12:03 p.m. - 2003-10-26