Don't lose your wings till you learn how to sing yourself to sleep

Fuel

"Bad Day"

Had a bad day again

She said I would not understand

She left a note and said "I'm sorry, I had a bad day again.

Spilled her coffee, broke her shoelace.

Smeared the lipstick on her face.

Slammed the door and said "I'm sorry, I had a bad day again."

And she swears there's nothing wrong

I hear her playing that same old song

She puts me up and puts me on

And had a bad day again

She said I would not understand

She left a note it said, "I'm sorry, I had a bad day again."

My fingers are peeling from the frostbite that i got a little while ago. It makes me mad because it looks horrible and i'm always trying to hide my hands from people. I know its minor and it will heal but i hate feeling like there is always something wrong with my appearance. If i'm going out somewhere i need my hair done,my make-up perfect, my clothes looking nice.The funny thing is that i hate dressing up. If i could i would just run around in mismatched clothes and my hair all wild. I wouldnt need to put on my make-up i'd just be fine the way i looked.Thats never going to happen though, i guess since i grew up with people that always had to look perfect thats what i do now.Funny how you try not to be like your parents but you always end up being exactly like them instead. You could even call it depressing in some cases.

I saw S. as i always do this weekend. I hate seeing him. Well i cant say i hate seeing him but i do hate the feeling i always get when i leave. The way my heart just feels like its crashing into my stomach and the way i always get so bitchy with people after i leave him. I cant seem to help it and i dont think its supposed to be this way. I dont think i'm supposed to feel this way...but i just hate being away from him because i know it'll be another week until i see him.*cover me in fire drop me down to the deepest darkest ocean so i never have to feel that way again*

We went to Thaniels house with some chicks that i had never met before. I didnt talk to them much, i'm really shy when i first meet people though. Sterling and I slept over and then the next day Will, Scott,S. and I went bowling. I kicked ass in the first game, i beat them all=) The second round though i wasnt as good, lol. Oh yes and i forgot to mention that i met some of the people that i hadnt met when S. was working at Earls, Rana and Nick. They are pretty cool people and i enjoyed talking to them, surprisingly i wasnt shy.I guess they were just really inviting.S. is always getting yelled at when i'm at his house. It upsets me because half the time its not something he should be yelled at for. I feel so helpless because i dont know what to do. All i know is the faster i make money, the faster we'll be able to move out together.

I dont know how i ever thought i would be able to live with my mom again. I am sleeping over at her house tonite and i might have to tommorow.She wont drive me home until Thursday and already shes been nagging me and i sighed at something she said so she got pissed off and said she was going to slap me upside the head. I'm going to try to find somewhere else to spend the night tommorow. I dont even care where it is as long as i'm not in the house with her. Anyways i have to go to bed early tonite for some unknown reason.

Love you all

xoxoxo

9:54 p.m. - 2003-02-04