S. and I have been together for 6 months now...the time has just seemed to pass by so quickly. Six months into a relationship where i havent been with anyone else. Six months closer to being 17 years old. 1 year and 6 months before i am considered an adult and able to do things that are illegal for me at the moment. I'm getting so old.Its depressing. This anniversary is the first one where S. and I will not be with each other...it bothers me in a way because its the half year mark but i also dont want to think about how long we've been together or how long we will be together. All i know is that at this very moment...all i want is to be with him for the rest of my life.
My room is filled with large plastic garbage bags, made into categories to store my pants...in one. My shirts and t-shirts...in the other. And miscellaneous stuff in the other. Then i have all my backpacks for the things that i do not want to be wrecked. This is so when i leave here i do not forget anything. Hopefully i'll be leaving here soon, i applied at a whole bunch of places in londonderry mall so now i'm just waiting to get some call-backs. Its spring time so most places are looking for people.
S. and I have this thing going where we go to the mall and see how many people check me out and how many people check him out. Whoever gets checked out the most wins. Last time we tied but i'm going to kick his ass next time=) Fun fun fun.
While i was at S's this weekend, his mom gave me a necklace that R. had been wearing in the days before she died...as well as on the night she died. Its got a silver chain and a blue heart in the middle...i have kept it on ever since she gave it to me. Even when i sleep...I suppose its the need to feel that i am close to her through the necklace. It sounds odd i know but i cant really explain it that well.
2:36 a.m. - 2003-03-25
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