Screaming out the window

(I've had a hard time thinking)

All i see when i look in the mirror is the skin, all that extra skin i don't need, its all building up and everyone keeps on saying "you're so lucky to be so thin", and when i try to show them all that extra fat, they shake their heads and say i'm crazy. At 5'5" i am 100 pounds and i don't think thats the ideal weight if i could get down to 95 pounds i'd be perfect but right now it's just disgusting, i try not to look in mirrors that show my whole body but when i catch a glimpse of myself in the windows of stores i cringe...

(I've had the hardest fall)

I talked to A. again...not much became of it, i can't seem to work up the courage to tell him to leave me alone. To tell him what i really think of him. And at the same time that i'm hating him, i love him.

6:25 p.m. - 2001-09-11