And sometimes my thoughts lead back to those times when i was with him. My stomach knots. My mind shrieks, " DON'T". I push them away and i try to break free of it. That horrible period in time. A whole section of my life that i am forced to forget because of the betrayal of my soul. No apologies. Still no damn apologies. Broken. A pattern. How many times did it need to repeat before it stopped? Why was i the coward again?