And frankly, i believe it was the most embarassing and worst times in my adult life. Disgraceful and disgusting. I was a shell of who i had the potential to be. This mess that i couldn't even see until looking back. I wish...i wish that i had thrown my arms in the air and maybe cried out for help a bit louder than i did. Instead of letting people think i wasn't drowning. It turns my stomach to think of the blur and all the chaos and the level i had sunk to...

Now finally...i am actively trying to make myself right. And it's incredibly hard and sometimes i make big mistakes. But i am pushing forward and i am letting myself love myself. This coming year, i'll be happy.