He says he will come to resent me because i have taken her away. I tried to explain more my feelings and my need to make us a happy family...not getting it. I told him that i think i hate him because of the situation he has put me in. I want to hate God for letting us get there in the first place. I want to resent her but when it all comes down to it, it is his wrong not hers and i cant hate someone who is so innocent. It hurts to lose someone who could have made such an impact but it hurts more to not lose someone and end up hating them. I am worried i will never be able to look at him the way i did before. I am worried that i will forever be unable to look him in the eyes for fear of seeing someone i do not know.I fear that i will forever cry when he says he loves me because i dont think he loves me enough. How does someone not realize what they are doing when so many others can? I dont know what he doesnt get from me, i dont know because he doesnt tell me and i dont ask. Communication is key but neither of us seems capable of it. Am i just in denial thinking that maybe we will come out of this alive?

1:46 a.m. - 2006-04-20