I love you

My best friend died, almost 3 years ago. I dream of her, i think of her, i sometimes feel like i can even breathe her. I have a problem though, I feel that it is wrong to be holding these... i dont even know what you would call it...but I feel like its this day of mourning for her on the day she died. I think its bullshit. Everyone is always saying R. died this day, so we are all going to sit around and think hard about her and cry alot. Well why should I? I dont feel the need to just mourn on one day, i mourn everyday of my life. What reason is there on this day to pronounce that you are sad. I'm sad all the fucking time when i allow myself to think of it but you know what i dont feel the need to bring it up anymore, why cant anyone let her rest in peace....even me?

9:43 a.m. - 2005-08-23