Stoners trip out

These few things you are going to be reading are from when i was stoned...so go ahead and read on....(most of them have to deal with my boyfriend S. or my friends)

Stoned Entry # 1

I say nothing is bothering me cuz i dont want to cause a fuss.My peace of mind is taking a backseat to their friendship. Am i paranoid? Or do i have something to worry about? i just want to make him happy. I make his food when hes sick. i break up with my girlfriends for him, ,I say nothing is wrong. All this for a guy whos relationships dont last longer than 2 months. Can i be anymore pathetic? Is he going to cheat on me, or will he just leave me? Everyone says its not going to last long. Well,what if they are right? They know him better than i do. Even SHE does. I wish my mind would just stop. SHE is much prettier than i am. So whos to say nothing is going on. Whats to say that i wont be left in the dust.

I WISH I COULD BE PERFECT FOR HIM

Stoner Entry # 2

IT HURTS

Just dont cry

I BLEED FOR HIM

Just dont cry

MY HEARTS ON THE LINE

Just dont cry

HE CUTS ME

Just dont cry

I SCAR FOR HIM

Just dont cry

I CRY FOR HIM

Kill yourself

SO PATHETIC

Stoner Entry # 3

H. confronted me about being paranoid yesterday. Being the dumb ass stoner i am i told her a whole spiel spilling the whole truth. I told her my mom said that she and S. were fucking behind my back or that H. was trying to get S to fuck her. Then i explained how A. agreed with my mom. Then shes like your mom and A. dont know me and she sounded like those girls off of maury that are always yelling at the audience"You dont know me" but she used this demonic little girl voice that just totally tripped the fuck out of me.Then she started harping on me about believing and how she doesnt have the time? Which is all bullshit, because theres been times when i'm gone and they had told me that they slept together(cuddle) and even times when they were doing that and i was home. Like what girl wouldnt be paranoid? If H. was any other chick i would have beat the fuck out of her literally. But since shes S's friend i didnt want to start shit.But fuck, i think about it all the time, because i dont know if i can trust her.

Stoned Entry # 4

Does he love me as he says? Or does he only say that because i do? Why does he like me, why is he with me, does he even know? Will he leave me for heather? We all know he liked her before, whos to say he doesnt still have lingering feelings for he. They are so flirtatious with each other, what am i to do?

More from me later on...H. wants the computer.

6:58 p.m. - 2002-11-11