I'm feeling like i have nothing good in this world to give. What is my purpose here? All i ever do is hurt people anyways. I've always been the strong one..."speak your mind! dont care what people think about you! do what you do because you want to not because people expect you to, stay alive for me" And here i am doing all the things i tell people to but not getting any pleasure from it. M. says he liked the alexandria before...and i cant even remember what i was like. I can't remember what i was fucking like! I dont know how i changed, i dont know if its bad or if its good, i dont know what to do with myself. I went straight edge for 5 days and i couldnt take it any longer. What have i become?
S. and I were asking people what their first impressions of us were and the replies i got for me were...a bitch...a snob...a bad girl...a tough girl. The sad thing is every single thing they said i was i really am. Its not a lie...i dont know what M. saw before but its obviously not there anymore and now we can't even hold a decent conversation without fighting. This is a person that i loved with all my heart and we cant even talk to each other and i know its all my fault and thats what hurts the most.
She wont mind
She's got dues to pay
She won't mind
Cause i come today
It feels so wrong
to be right
She see's time
In a different way
close my eyes
with the words she says
to be all that she desires
but they didnt love you
in our time
nobody wants you
in your life
plead and they will serve you
lies
words come fast
from a memory
feel that it lasts
the same that it used to be
now sing along
like a choir
If i say goodbye to love
will it go away?
If i say goodbye to love
because its here today
and it feels so strong...tonight
but they didnt love you
in our time
nobody wants you
in your life
plead and they will serve you
lies
So the rest of our lives
fearing the way to keep us alive
I'd put my hands to the sky
and pray for a sign
if i believed in a god
we lay with our hearts to the floor
feel from the ground
let the earth keep us warm
I put my hands on fears head
as i say goodbye to love
as i say goodbye to love
as i say goodbye to love
but they didnt love you
in our time
nobody wants you
in your life
plead and they will serve you
lies
but they didnt hold you I cried
nobody wants you in your life
plead and they will serve you
lies
6:47 p.m. - 2002-03-04
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