I phoned my best friend today and her mom informed me that she had run away the day before. The first thing to hit me was a wave of sadness because of the fact that my best friend is gone and i have no idea where she is. Also the things we've been talking about lately are pretty bad and i dont want her to go off and do it by herself, if she gets hurt really bad i swear to god i would probably die from the pain of knowing i could have stopped her. If i had called her yesturday like i said i would she probably wouldnt have left and then i would know that she was safe and being cared for. I feel so guilty.
Besides that i've been in a permanent bad mood due to the fact that i have not had weed for at least 2 weeks and going. I cant have weed even though i need it because my mom is taking random blood tests and the price i pay for doing drugs is my mom takes away my best friend forever. I cant have that happen so for her i have stopped.
I phoned V. today and she told me that Texas had been phoning her and telling her to give me the number for where hes at. We are still together but i have moved on, i liked him and everything but i'm not sure what i feel for him now. I dont even want to fight with my mother to keep him so what does that tell you.
*I'm breathing for you*
12:26 p.m. - 2002-02-19
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