Sometimes i feel like diving headfirst into the cement

Life goes on, live for R. She would have wanted it that way. Thats what they all say. They didnt know her, they dont know me...I was taken from my step moms place and put into an environment that i wasnt too sure about. It went alright. School was as fucked up as ever, i have been skipping a lot. Life just doesnt seem as great when you've lost your soul mate. I have a boyfriend, hes a linebacker for my schools football team...i dont like him. Hes egotistical,corny, immature and hes a jock. It didnt matter when i first went out with him because all my friends thought he was sexy...blah, hes just like every other jock you see around, nothing original about him and boring as hell. When he touches me i feel like maybe i could let him stay with me but then at other times i want to choke him so he wont come near me anymore. I'll be breaking up with him on Monday. My birthday is tomorrow and its my sweet 16, but its not sweet and i'm not sweet and i cant stand living the life i have. I went to H's place last night and got myself drunk. Thats always a good way to get rid of pain. You should all try it. She was hammered and puking all over the place, i on the other hand was the one helping her around, even though i was tired as fuck.Its actually R's brothers house but H. lives there. Anyways, I have this huge thing for her brother and her cousin, R's that is but we'll have to wait and see what happens. I have no place to live, i have no life to give and i cant seem to fight the urge to not be here. *sighs* How lonely life can be.

Is Anybody Home?

Goodbye, the future's sold out

There's no use screaming

Who thought we'd ever get this far

Tonight, your faith has come down

To money & a TV

Psychics who've never been to mars

And nazis breast feeding

I know you must be upset

I can't find meaning

I'm sorry, we're sorry

We're all scared, all scared

Hey is anybody home

Has anybody wasted tears on the loneliness

That everyone becomes

Goodnight, the truth has come out

Everyone's needy

White teeth, a ticket to meet god

Be all that you envy

The shotgun under your bed has

Started breathing

You shot it, you shot it

I'm bare, I'm bare

Hey, is anybody home

Has anybody painted fear

On the bedroom walls that save us from...

9:44 p.m. - 2002-09-21