I'm no star

havent updated for a while and thats been because i ran away from home once again. My mom and i were fighting and it was starting to get overwhelming and maybe that makes me weak but who ever said i was strong. So she brought me to school and on the way i was freaking out and i almost jumped out of the car too. I got to school and got a friend to come with me to the mall so we could find a place for me to stay. I didnt have any money but i was looking really good so i knew that if there were any guys there that i could get them to let me stay at their place. Dangerous...yeah but i didnt mind. So we went to the mall and i called up two friends and ended up going to one of their houses. Then i went to the mall again and the minute me and my friend walked in the door some guy gave us his number and told me to call him later that night. Then we started our hunt to find me a place to stay...all in all i got 5 guys #'s which is good since it was during the day and theres barely anyone there. I saw my friend ...he was a french exchange student at school and we were going to make porn together. He walked up to me and i gave him a big hug and he kept complimenting me and it was so sweet. I got his number and we're going to get together sometime soon. Anyways, i went back to the friends house i was at earlier and thats where my stepmom found me. She took me to her house and i'm living here now...most likely for the next six months until i turn 16. I like it here...theres always someone to talk to and hang out with but i'm not in school.My mom took me out and i dont know when shes putting me back in...so i sit and hang out all day doing nothing.Theres always someone home though so its okay. M., my best friend and one of the people i love is feeling really down lately and i wish i could do something but i have nothing to give but myself and not even fully the way we would like it.

"Corners Of My Mind"

Meet me in the stillness

Away from all this madness

I'll give you a piece of me

If you'll give me a moment

To let you into the corners of my mind

I looked into a stranger

And found my soul waiting there

It hit me like a siren

To see myself everywhere

And I saw that I knew him like the corners of my mind

And like every other soul

You feel the night come on hard and go slow

And life goes on and on and it goes

In the corners of my mind

So shed your skin for me

Let's pull back the covers

There's so much about ourselves

We're yet to discover

So won't you let me in to the corners of your mind

We pass on chance with our eyes to the ground

It only takes a minute to see what's around

But instead we choose to reside in the corners of our minds

So I stand before you now

Faulty but not broken

Fragile like the break of day

And sometimes sad like words unspoken

But I'll let you in

I'll let you in to the corners of my mind

And like every other soul

You feel the night come on hard and go slow

And life goes on and on and it goes

In the corners of my mind

Life is so complicated. I dont think i'd like it any other way though. I've decided that when i turn 16 i'm going to become an escort. Not the kind that has sex with their customers but the ones that are professional dates, it cant be that bad.

1:46 p.m. - 2002-04-08