Well, i'm talking to my ex-boyfriend at the moment. B....we havent talked for the longest time. Since he told me he still had feelings for me but that i need to figure myself out before we try again. Hes got a girlfriend that he loves and i've got a boyfriend that i love but my mind wanders back to the days when we were good together. I ruined it and i know it. That was back in my player days, i cheated on him with many people so i can understand why he thinks i need to figure myself out.
How do you know when you lean towards girls more than guys? Does your mind suddenly say Girls are better than guys?I am a hardcore bisexual yet sometimes i feel that i want girls more than i want guys. Maybe its normal to feel that way, maybe its not but whatever it is, i dont think it bothers me. If i was to turn into a lesbian i dont think i would mind at all. Power to the pussy i suppose.
I used to be really interested in Ani Difranco and then i got into hardcore music, now i'm back into her. Shes a beautiful woman with the most inspirational lyrics. Beauty and brains and a history that taught her. I could fall in love with a girl like that.
M. met the family...they approve of him so thats good.I'm scared though. Everyone says i'm a wild girl, a bad girl and i always used to have boyfriends that my parents wouldnt approve of at all. Druggies...guys that didnt go to school...older guys that could get in trouble for being with me...guys that tried to control me or abuse me and now i have a good guy. He loves me, he doesnt cheat on me,He doesnt call me names, he doesnt beat me and he never would, He doesnt do drugs, he doesnt smoke, he doesnt drink, he goes to school, hes not in trouble with the law.This...this is what i consider horrible.I dont deserve this. I want what i had before because i feel i deserve that.
10:51 pm - 2002-05-19
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